He does a lot of on call weekends which can mean a few emails, and can mean hours of work, and he travels once or twice a month for a couple of days, and those plans are often made a quite short notice. What to Do When Your Partner Works Too Much - Verywell Mind I think its harder for our daughter to understand whether she will see him or not. Cue to me having a 23 month old and a 4 week old baby completely on my own for a whole week in his first week in the new job!!! I have the utmost respect for you working almost full time whilst your husband is away. The only time we really have spent time with him was thanksgiving week. His schedule is much better now because he saw how hard it was for me, and saw how much he was missing with the kids. Molly was like it but only for about 6 months and now she is just excited whenever Daddy is home. You get to know your routines and unfortunately sometimes that means story time gets cut short for the eldest whilst you look after the baby. Its all a bit rubbish and I find it hard, but its all Ive ever known since meeting my husband 9 years ago. Or those first days at home it can be oh! I am having a really hard time with this and really lonely. She has got a lot more clingy since hes been away, but I dont know if this is something that she would have done at this age anyway. The days are longer and the time away from home more frequent. Whilst pregnant with Alice it was apparent that me doing my old job just wasnt going to be possible and we made the decision that the opportunities Edd had were much greater. Talk to your spouse ahead of time and see if theres a good time for you guys to chat regularly. Im having a hard time with everyday things! Husband Im a DPM in an ad agency (although thankfully part time now) and while my husband is officially based in Glasgow, his team are all in London which inevitable means he spends lots of time down there. In an adult mature relationship you are mindful of each other as individuals. Probably why I speak to my mum every day about boring things like ironing! Support him as he needs support. Scared to what we will do regarding childcare when I go back to work. My husband has been working away for a week now and I am shattered. Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team. If not, plan to make the move to where he works so youre together? Thanks for this article. He works there for the $$. We know those 5am starts well and while my other half trys to go down and back up in the same day some times we are at the mercy of the airlines. It is good to vent as we need to get things off of our chest. Sent 2X monthly and we do not share your email address. Im gonna go out on a limb here And admit that its easier when Mr O is away for work! Its important that you can cope without your partner- you are still your own person after all. You strike me as one of lifes copers. I feel that it has massively improved my organisational skills! Mary Kearl and husband. husband working away WebWhen your husband is away from home working long hours at a job the days can be trying but supporting him from home is worth it. My husband works abroad for long stretches regularly through the year and I dont have family close by to step in. Its emotional hard for me to be alone but it is someone I am working on. Where is the compromise to be made? think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Husband You do learn how to manage, even if its not ideal, and you will surprise yourself with how strong you are. We are moving another province away in June for his job and his kids from a previous marriage. What to Do When Your Partner Works Too Much - Verywell Mind Edd went away when Alice was 2 weeks old and I cant even remember how I coped for that one night on my own with a newborn and a toddler. xx, Thank you for sharing this Lottie. Here's how we found remote work. The ongoing outbreak of fires in Canada is sending new waves of smoke into the American Midwest, and the pollution has been seen as far away as Europe. So I can understand when my husband was hesitant to accept the offer for him to work almost 600 km away from us. Taking care of a baby by yourself is too much. the challenges that your partner finds with the swinging schedule, in the most remote of places the healthy efforts make all the difference, The Rome Institute for International Counselling, Coaching and Mediation, The Field Mission Dilemma: How To Feel, Be And Do Good, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work Marvin Keller Weekly, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work | Review Travel, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work | The H2O Standard, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work | Information From World, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work | Interesting News, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work | News Agency, 12 Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship While Traveling For Work -, How International Life Is a Game of Plans - The GOODista, Why Drinking Water During Winter is Important, How To Gain Control In An Out-of-Control World. He got offered a job away to build a power station for mines, the money is very good and after a few months we would have enough to keep us in a good position, pay off bills, debts, keep us well afloat etc.. He does too, but his is infinitely more flexible with hardly any travel at the moment. Like you say, if they are away long periods of time that is even harder. It is true that you just kind of find your own way through things. Im due to have our first baby in the next few weeks and this is one of my biggest concerns. The key to a working away relationship is to find ways to develop independently, yet depending on each other for emotional support in a real partnership. Like a plant it needs to be nourished and appreciated, as much as respected. LO is 5 months old. However, I was a single mom to my oldest and did everything on my own. When is the perfect time for a six-month separation? I have a strong support group, but starting to hold some resentment for my husband. A negotiated, and agreed way forward brings a sense of togetherness also when you are apart. I feel the same and am often tired and ratty and shouty with them but I try to tell myself its ok as I am here with them. Spend time with or make contact with others- Catch up with friends and family in person or give them an overdue phone call to get all the latest gossip but only if you REALLY want to- not just to avoid being in an empty house or to pass the time. The ongoing outbreak of fires in Canada is sending new waves of smoke into the American Midwest, and the pollution has been seen as far away as Europe. So we agreed on 2 nights, 3 days Max in London each week. 32 comments lilstumpz 1 yr. ago Give him a serious confrontation about the situation. Im not sure why exactly because weve talked at length about the long hours Edd works and the immense juggling act you undertake to make sure your girls are happy, safe and cared for as well as working your socks off for RMLtd. This is only until we can move but not sure how long that maybe. Husband Works Long Hours Also, hes the fun one!! That helps the old coping mechanism! Hes almost done working out of town this week and has arranged when he gets home hes going to Cuba for a friends birthday. Xx, Oh Tamsin, I feel for you but it will be ok. Im lucky Edd doesnt have to go abroad as at least he is home some of the week. Believe me we have talked through the options on many an occasion but there isnt really another option now. 32 comments lilstumpz 1 yr. ago Give him a serious confrontation about the situation. I know this is the same during the day for most people but come bathtime and bedtime all I wanted was someone to help. Were now 2 years in and like you say it doesnt get easier at all but I think you just learn to handle it. ?) Now I feel like Im doing it all over again on my own with our LO. It has made me realise just how much he does around the house! She has been so unsettled so running on very little sleep at the moment. Need help with your relationship? All Rights Reserved. Can a Temporary Separation Make a Relationship Stronger? My husband is currently working 4 days a week out of town and about to switch jobs which he will be working outta of town 6 days a week and only home one day. Understanding, equal respect in roles that shift on constant basis, and continuous communication remain key to mutual trust. No idea how solo parents do it, hats off, big time! Check with your Embassy, kids school or employer for recommendations. Had her in 2016 and continued, just finished in 2020 in time to give birth to my last baby. Apart from a couple of breaks between contracts, he's always worked away Monday to Friday. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk When is the perfect time for a six-month separation? You need to find your own routines and little support network. to Cope when Your Spouse Is Away if your partner works away a lot The whole time he worked away. away The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I had no idea if I would survive. I have found I have to stay up much later each evening to get everything done so am feeling pretty run down now roll on half term next week! xxx, This gives me hope! I know Ive got his support and that is invaluable. The anxiety is starting to hit me. I learnt how to cope and how to manage routines (more on that another day). Everything from In Case of Emergency; (ICE) which should include employer, next of kin, family members etc to the network operator, plumber, electrician, lawyer, etc. Even more so when Molly once told her teachers that Daddy lives in London! Good luck xx. I think he went to New York for a week when our eldest was 6 days old. This country is my favourite place to holiday so enjoy every minute of your staycations xx. Look forward to your time together and really focus on what youre doing and why youre doing it! Try not to get stressed. I try to carve out time for me in the evenings! I live for school holidays and weekends when theres slightly less pressure and an extra pair of hands. This includes having individual, as well as joint accounts. All last week Phil was on site till late then off back to site before we woke up so we barely saw him. When Your Husband Works Away My brother in law is and I know my sister is already stressed about when they do have kids as he can be away for six months to a year at a time. Very jealous of you living by the coast. Rather if it really comes to a non-workable situation, choose to transform yourself through lifestyle change and / or look for jobs in different places. I know plenty of lone parents who struggle but cope, but of the unscientific study of them and their views I would say they get through because theyve found a constant, they dont have the shadow of a second parents presence that may or may not be there at any given time, which maybe makes it harder somehow? Especially when being a PM means my natural instinct is to manage all the things! I always said I didnt want a husband who worked away yet here I am in exactly that situation. I call these couple of months our IN BETWEEN months. It is rare that he has to do it and I am extremely lucky that he is able to work fairly flexibly so usually makes it home to help with bed time. Its not about the money but about having the time and means to give them an amazing start in life. My husband has worked away since just before the first of our three kids (well, 2 kids and one very nearly due) was born. Between 1-4 weeks away at a time, with a weekend between here and there. I was sitting in bed (watching peppa) feeling sorry for myself when i clicked on your post). This year we cant go on holiday. Ive thankfully not been away as much with work as Ive been previously, when both of us have 5am airport starts its a nightmare. When you are together make special time for talking really talking. Not only that, we have four kids and the youngest was just two months old. If your partner is in the same field, or similar, it makes for an easier fit when it comes to understanding (not domestic logistics). Join in to Feel, Be and Do GOOD! My husband has left for work in another continent today for a month. Please feel free to share and comment what makes your partnership work. Partnership is defined as: Partnerships present the involved parties with special challenges that must be navigated unto agreement. If your partner is only away on a week or month-long work trip, try picking a time to call every day. This is only until we can move but not sure how long that maybe. Social events, kids, and family can wait while you go for a long walk. This is a really interesting read Lottie! The novelty of being in a hotel every night wears thin, so be grateful for home comforts and mindful of their situation. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Reading your story makes me realise it might not be ideal but hopefully well make it work! Pretty much daily. Ad Stay in touch- Whether they work away one night a week or for the entire five days- stay in touch via texts, regular calls and emails. Support him as he needs support. Husband working away How do you moms do it, my husband left today for a new job training for 6 months and Im having the worst separation anxiety, and the pregnancy hormones with baby #2 arent helping! Its part of life, people work away all the time. Edd went away when Alice was two weeks old and left me with a baby and a toddler. I just try to limit what I do when hes not here, the washing can wait until the weekend etc. He wonders why our son is a mummys boy and When I tell him Im exhausted Im made to feel guilty for complaining about getting to spend time with him. My husband and I made the difficult decision for him to take a job based about 2.5 hours drive away from home when I was pregnant with our second child. I do mind but then I have to remind myself, I wouldnt be able to stay home with baby if he didnt have a great job and worked a lot. I cant say I like it. To get into the small stuff brings about child like reactions, and silly misunderstandings. I do feel that its probably hampered my career progression but thats a post for another day.