X. I have been with my husband for 7 years married 4 1/2 of the 7 years and have known him since 1988 when we first dated as teenagers. I do feel that it would make me feel better though. I thought about my husband so much i was so depressed cause I was treated so poorly by peers away from home. It takes courage and right game to actually talk to a girl knowing that odds are, you will get rejected, so when you do decide to shoot your shot and am getting rejected, it's fucks you up in the head . If it were a one time thing and he was the one to tell you and showed remorse I would say well ok, give him another chance, work things out but apparently thats not the case. I am now married to this man who I caught trying to arrange secret sex massages with women who are online. js = d.createElement(s); A few hours later, he quietly came down to take a shower. This last one was by far the worst and he acted like I did something to him. /*! You have been horribly betrayed and have every right to feel every feeling that you have. My husband and I got baptized together 8 months after he returned home. Then she left her partner and ran away with another man. Many questions go through my minds as to why did he do this? He reminded me that he was not ready for a family and kids and that he got married to young and how unattractive I was and he could not handle our kids and the noise and all that family stuff . I am not a therapist. I am just now at 30 starting to come into my own identity and finish school. On another note I will say this. He needs to learn how it feels so he can understand what he has put me through and then maybe I will feel a bit more convinced that he wont do it again. That is not a possibility because if you choose to hurt him intentiaonnly then there is a pretty big chance that he wont stick around. That he just needed her to see the same thing. Since he had me blocked everywhere I took my sister's phone and sent him a long message confessing my feelings, apologizing and asking him if we could be friends again and telling him how much I missed him. I blamed myself because I didnt take care of myself. So few understand the damage broken trust can do. The past cannot be undone. i don't think it's hopeless, but he would need to do something like the ems weekend with you and sit down with therapists who are experts and that could help him reason through some things internally. Plus he made mistakes and was in the wrong place at times. Im clingy, and crying all the time :( Not sure if I should just call it quits (since we dont have kids) we bought a house a year ago but that can be sold. My anger grew solely because I remembered his impulsive buying before the affair. Im not proud of it but felt good since I warned her to leave him alone. We werent married at the time. Sometimes I find myself praying and asking God whether Im not supposed to be happy in life. Please if there is anybody there please guide me through this process pls. I am going thru the same feeling i feel like am losing my mind. Its hard for me to stop crying in such pain. Unfortunately by then I was deeply in love with him. Seems like history repeating itself again. Elaine I think you need to tell your husband of your emotional status (am assuming you are still together and live in the same house). If nothing was happening then why did he come out of his car and zip his pants up. Heartbreak He Cheated On You, So Why Is He So Angry? He says hes really sorry that he loves me that hell do whatever it takes that it wasnt him he was ill and I do believe him I been with him half of my life but it hurts so so much I just dont no how to deal with it. $('.submenu1').hide(); and pay for rent power and food and because Im a good role model I dont drink or smoke. I dont know how to move on. I was there, devoted and loved being his wife. He has become distant, has lost weight and doesnt seem to care about me. He should spend time with his family not other women hes lied about it but eventually tells me he says he never had sex with them I still feel betrayed and hurt and feel like hes lying to me. Alumnus. Let him know where your relationship stands. I never trust him and we fight frequently. I didn't tell him the real reason why I refused--I had never been to a party of any kind. So I know both of these women I dont tell them what I know because I just. He does NOT CARE 1 oz. He transferred to a new facility and has been working there for a few months now. I have been there and made a mistake by doing the same thing to him that he did to me. I am also feeling better because he is showing more and mors signs of commitment. for the sake of my children , i decieded to stay but seperate room , no communication other than chores. My partner was messing around with 3 women behind my back but when I found out and broke up with him he was devastated, in tears all the time, pale and not eating. I just want her to be happy once again. You are suffering, and he is likely aware that his actions are at the root of that suffering. I feel so distressed I wanna cry. Single life is always an option. I married a man that felt so great for about 2 years. her husband knows because i told him but hes so stupid and forgave her and said he will try to save his marriage as well, but still allowed her to continue working there. Not one visit to couples therapy. So they where going to give 100% to try and make this marriage work with out having to see this women he loves everyday. Dont question where I am, Dont question my finances, Dont touch my phone! One could never imagine the embarrassment, and humiliation that another person could suffer at the hands of someone they love and trust (ed). And, yes, we have a very active sex life. My health was very bad with severe anxiety yet I was always home with our kids & I was never invited to his work where hed had a lot of time alone running around stores by his work as also I had no idea he has a work only he says friend as he stated no cheating ever as he did though not feel that hed done nothing but maybe change his behaviour ( I told him ) to stop with this B.! 5 years of infidelity with his work wife, who I despised all along, and Im supposed to forgive, forget, and fall in love? It is so hard to let the anger go. I loved him a lot and trusted him blindly. His father said he will take his stinking vacation when and how he was told or he would not take one at all. Let's assume you have just asked your best friend or coworker out, and he rejected you, it is only normal that things will feel awkward for a while. So Im soo angry and very sad at the same time. I even had accountability friends to stay in touch with. I cry every day because of the things she has said to me. I had done it, and I had to suffer the consequences. And he does not remember a thing. He came in and stood at the end of the bed and said he just got my text because his phone died and sorry he worried me. My spouse expected me to just forgive forever ad seek theroy alone. 3 Ways to Communicate With a Guy After He Rejected You - wikiHow I was left home alone catching on bills and he didnt give a damn about me. I just want to feel normal again. Does He Think I Rejected Him? What Do I Do? - GirlsAskGuys My story might help you understand better, why you feel the way you do: Before my Hs affair, I believed in God and he blamed God for all of his problems. Its been 2.5 years since my boyfriend who I loved, adored and was head over heels for, cheated on me with my best friend. I got sick of it and confronted her. Well, we did get back together and decided to be honest about if we had dated while apart. Though you aren't alone in thissexual issues are common in marriagesyou must feel extremely lonely. Popular; Questions; Help Needed; Polls; Live Feed; myTakes; . I was happier than I could remember. I put that in quotes because, as the trust is gone, I cant be sure this isnt just another deception. And my friends and sister said the same. 15. So the happy hours continued and all of the above, about a month after I nicely asked him if there was someone else I went off about being tired of being left to do everything with the house and kids (we both have fulltime jobs outside the house), his screaming at me and the kids, and why was it so important to go to happy hour! Im going crazy! At the beginning of the year, I met one of the guys who lives in the house across from me. i asked her to stop texting him and she seemed apologetic and said she had nothing with him. I had to realize, I had committed this great act of selfishness and the best thing I could do was take it, suffer the consequences, pray hard and draw close to God and accept what was coming my way. The GoodTherapy.org Team. I said what about the gift I bought him in Rome things did not have to be this angry over a vacation and timer off. Everyone came and showered him with compliments about his good haircut and he suddenly had the most charming smile as he thanked everyone. Put yourself first if you can. It saved me from my self hate of myself a lot & its been an ongoing constant stress and worry about The Anger We all must obviously still harbour so I needed a place to find that I could feel not alone with my own experience as well as feel good in the sense others have had some of the same issues with all ( you Ronda) going through those ups & the downs with the good the bad the ugly with then starting to remember How to .Love Myself Again & Im Sending you cyber hugs & Im Show them what a happy family should be like. I have been with my husband for15 years married for13. Maybe hes not truly sorry for his actions that hurt you. it have me his location so on Feb 27 it showed him at a hotel :( .. i knew in my heart he waa there with her. Ive gone to god over it but I just cannot get past it. Friend of mine is in a similar boat, except her husband has played his games in the past. Hes the only one I ever strike out at when I get on a rage. There were no children involved but his wife was destroyed. I confessed and told him that after we were married for two years I had an affair with someone at work, it was during the time my father was diagnosed with cancer and I felt he was absent in support of me, no attention or love from him at that time. He can say and do everything but I feel like Im not here anymore. and the last sight I saw was his brothers trying to stop him from killing his father, Because he said one day he would know his place coming from the phones. He was the man of my life, I met him when I was 17 yrs old, now Im 34, 3 children together and have he is the only man Ive known. "War on paper and real war are different. One woman called stalked and showed up at a holiday even though he told her she meant nothingI guess those letters emails and calls sent mixed messages to her. It sucks for all three involved. When I confronted him through messages and calls. We argued to the point i told him that I thought of the past and I didnt like it and he was treating me over the phone. I would rather barely speak to him then get into one of these we need to fix this conversations . When we were in primary he confessed many times but I only considered him a friend. I can completely relate and i understand 100% how you are feeling. You can find out more about domestic violence here: He is not even ready to completely come clean with the affair or attend counselling. Well of course I asked him WHY??? If you are anything like me, it will be a very long time, maybe forever, before/if you can put this in the past and move forward while staying with him. I wrote down every single thought and emotion I was having , I wrote down questions I had and the facts from the fiction that I created in my head . I've read that having an affair is an addiction. My husband was depressed he hated his job and hated me, he felt like i had more than a phone call and had sex during my marriage. What he doesnt realize is that hes forever changed me. You are absolutely right to feel angry. What a mess. He is in a 12 step porn sexual addiction group to counsel him. MY FIRST ADVICE TO YOU IS TO START A DEEP AND REGULAR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. Hi. Thank you for your reply. Never one important person just superficial quickie affairs. I was so angry again and he asked me to forgive him and not to do that again.. I found out 3 years ago that my husband cheated on me when I saw the text message on his phone in screen message and I called the girl and she told me they had sex together.I was so angry and I confroted him. My husband said they whipped him until his mind had the good sense to shut down. 2 You ruined their confidence I regret rejecting him. - Reddit - Dive into anything Were continuing to do well now but we are trying to protect ourselves from the psychotic harassment and outrageous stories from the other woman who is trying to break his relationship with me and our expected child by sending me a detailed text after she must have screenshot my number from his phone to hers while he was asleep one of the times (full of some truth but also lies that I know for a fact are not true because I was with him at that time). He started taking everything he was denied after 31 years of marriage starting with me Everything now is no cooperation from my husband for any reason.I feel my part in this was shameful but did not see a way without causing the society trouble. Does she wait on him. My instincts told me something was wrong however I made every excuse and doubted what I felt .He came home distant and and quietly in the most unobvious ways, he neglected me but, was physically present. It was incredibly helpful in not only sorting through the emotions but exactly where each though was connected to that emotion . newwindow.focus() But the more I didn't get the . Nothing seems to help him. If your willing to stay with him, you will never change him and only have yourself to blame. I knew I had to say something. He was aware of my doubts and mistrust with him. It hurts that the other woman could have the audacity as well to keep trying to harrass him to see her even after she knew he was not in a strong place (weak minded) and she knew we were expecting a baby and we were trying to move on together. I dont know what to do Ive become totally trusting to now wanting to check his phone, social media accounts, credit card records. I was by this time crying, everyone was saying couldnt he just go to work that day, we were tired and he shut everyone up then saying just like he was tired two years before getting out of the navy and driving from South Carolina getting 35 minutes of sleep and still not getting a day off because daddy decided he had to be a man and reinstate that day. Now thinking of it or us or what use to be us gives me a headache. I know that I have hurt her so deeply from my actions. He left home 7 months ago when it was discovered. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and see how they respond before assuming they've been aware of their behavior . LOL YES, DOWN TO THE SECONDS I CAN GIVE A TIME. I cannot see myself going through a next time. This was becoming a norm for several weeks and it took 3weeks later at a restaurant we went to for my husband to tell me he was cheating on me and that he loved the woman and her son. I met my husband in high school and we dated for 2 1/2 years before getting married. He refuses to admit to the affair. '&l='+l:'';j.async=true;j.src= He was suppose to take his wife away for a couple days for her birthday. I tracked the girl down and she lied, even while i had her naked pictures in my hands!! I have been struggling big time and he isnt being very kind. I cannot work and my youngest has special needs and a lot of medical issues herself. I have also been goong through a similar situation. Until that happens, the rest of the healinggrieving, letting go, reconnectingcant really move forward. I would highly recommend giving this a try. Deborah, forgive yourself. It has been some time since the post about getting revenge. Regardless of the fact that i pay the bills and if i loose my life today she dies rich. He carried on with this when I was still freshly devastated from his affair. margin: 0 0.07em !important; Hi Confused Soul, First of all Im sorry to hear of your situation with your fianc . That was around the time they started texting again, something I didnt find out until much later. What we feel often comes from the meaning we make of an event. All rights reserved. He had her take multiple loans out for his TWO trucks, a boat, and his business. I am trying to pick a place to go for vacation. I want to leave him I want him out. I have bulging disc sometimes i could barely get up on my own. ^ Praying ^ for you all ! Im trying to read all of them. You are entitled to feel angry and hurt. he had to drive her home to her husband. Are you stuck on the message, I didnt deserve this. i gave in to his love words and he touched me and i melted we had sex.. it was great because i love him deeply. It was as soon as he walked out the door that he obviously forgot about me. Dont stay just for the sake of staying you deserve to be happy, trully happy. I felt bad. Recently I told him I hated him and the quarreling is killing us. I wish she would wake up and realize he will ALWAYS cross her boundaries and always be looking for younger, better, more hip, more fun, and he will NOT CHANGE. Any advice would be appreciated. Called all his friends his Paster his kids. I have been so depressed and have been on medication. Said he thought as long as there was a chance I didnt think it was I would be able to forgive him. I hope so much that you are ok and are able to move forward soonhang in there sister! And it still might be going on if I hadnt found out. He later points out that I go around moping and every time he asks how I am doing, I reply that I'm fine. He joined 5 dating sites for married extramarital affairs. My husband made comparisons and complained about my bedroom skills especially when I was so tired and fell asleep during sex. To sum it all up he no longer has all of me. $('.menu3').click(function() { If I take him up then his cheating was deliberate and he lied that he didn't know how it started, a 2 year affair that I'm not sure is over. It was to the point when my grandparents started to worry--they would try and tactfully ask me when I was getting a boyfriend. He said as far as he was concerned I had several Promises to keep with the one in 1982 in the church I had yet to live up to. I told him that we could still be friends. Unfaithful. I have not met him for the past 2 years though we talk on whats app and update about son. Take care. All the everyday drama with young kids seemed to happen when he was gone and when he was home he was now an honored guest whom I did everything for and our world revolved around him so he could rest and enjoy being home Ken Griffey Jr. before a game against the Yankees in 2009. His career blossomed with very hard work and decedication. He met her through our sons baseball team. I highly recommend this and also sharing it with your husband when ready so he can fully understand your emotions as well . So, the night after I yelled at him he texted me he was on his way home around 6:30 PM and didnt get home until about 3 AM. it made him jealous i guess. I was to tired and the end of the day and my health began to deteriorate and more and more I felt alone and neglected while husband was our guest of honor who took care of himself complained and waited for me to finish my duties. I was in a real bad place for a long long time, i found support in my family and at 26 moved back woth my parents with baby en tow. He told her that he had feelings for this other women. He ignored my calls and texts and when he did see them, he never responded. His mother. I found out 3 months ago that my husband had been cheating. I told him that in the nineteen years he was dealing with his feelings I raised our kids to become amazing Individuals lost both my parents and managed our home and family life supported his career and found my inner strength to finally walk away. He had to step out of the open house to talk to his mistress come to find out! I told my husband he could not do this. i found text and calls in his phone. My kids want me to leave him i am so confused part of me hates his guts. My husband still thinks he did nothing wrong and that what happen between us was because of our relationship and all these years was an exaggeration on my part because he tried to deal with his feeling and his demons and but I made it difficult for him. If he cares about you, that awareness is a source of pain for him. You so deserve better. I sincerely hope everything is good for you and your partner. Look, I think that you need to think about how much good that really will accomplish and what would you get out of hurting him back? Im away again overseas and we always have arguement on the phone. It sounds like God's grace is working mightily in your life. 3. He promised we would work toward getting down to the core issues and he said he would never see her again.I know for a fact he called her to tell her it was over and that I was pregnant and she was naturally upset and started threatening him in a scary way, which unfortunately is happening to us now about four months later (I had to change my number and we had to block her and her friends on fb to try and protect ourselves somewhat). We never went out together he never invited me to company events and I only knew him when he walked through the door. She could have gotten that from me had she jsut asked, or I could have opened my eyes and saw that she needed more, but it is what it is. At first he was nice and telling me how much she loved us, but after I exposed him to his parents he stopped talking to me and he doesnt even call to ask about his daughters. I don't care if he hates me now. He informed me tar evening we allowed him nothing, from that second he was the final judge and arbitor under his roof and he expected restitution for 31 years of a stolen life. I took full responsibility for his actions and accepted that the two years we had no sex was my fault. So my question what do I tell them. So back to my story, we got married this year and everything was perfect I never loved him so much in my life. You at least have sought redemption. So I (16f) have a best friend who we'll call J (16m) who's also my schoolmate, classmate and we leave in the same residential area. But his wife would send him bible versus at him and turned his children who are grown against him. Ps forgot to mention there are so many good sites which offer great support, one I might suggest for you to start with is, marriagebuilders.com. I will be praying for you and especially for HIM. I developed a crush on him pretty quickly. I forgave him and now this. (function(w,d,s,l,i){w[l]=w[l]||[];w[l].push({'gtm.start': It devastated me but I and my sons agreed to go. He could not even be allowed that ever because to many with church, children and affairs of the heart could have the normal shutdown between Christmas Eve and New years. Yes it took me a veeeeeery long time to start getting better but I am slowly. Same house, same bank acct, same except I dont need to offer unconditional devotion. One of the first things he had to do was to have no more contact with the other woman, none whatsoever and to delete all contact details.if he has not done this or is nor agreeable to do this, he does not know what he wants and it is only doing more damage to your self worth to let him stay. I dated one guy for about 2 months as for my husband he slept with 4 different people in which he worked with. I just dont know what to expect anymlre, because in the past, when I thought things were good, I always found out something new, which broke me down again, so now Im at this point where Im trying to be strong for our child and Im trying not to let myself think that things are all good just in case I find out something painful that hes lied about again. I dont handle this well at all and you hopefully can handle it better than me. Are you dealing with fear that it will happen again? We live remotely so cant access a counsellor, and really actually have no money for one. I am disabled from working in hospitals for years. He came back to school after missing 2 and a half weeks out. /& not to call anymore ! We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings, and feel disgusted with ourselves. This counselor was a nightmare, he was more consumed with my husband feeling safe (because my husband was abused as a child) than helping our marriage. So he took his wife on a vacation to Florida for a week. celestialism 2 yr. ago. } Then, he was moved far away. His decision to get the apartment also prompted my mother to tell my father, the holidays were coming up and she didnt want him to be blindsided. Although it wasnt the same. i tried to get in his car. Privacy Policy. how we will prove that? But this is now 6 months ago and we are still trying to heal.. My husband is 45. I am smart, attractive and devoted to those in my life. I want to be very clear here as I find it a must to negate any message here that claims you had a part.there is absolutely NOTHING you could have done to change your partners path and the problem is not you, the problem is not your marriage. My anxiety is so high that my doctor put me on xanex!!! You Must be the bigger person to Look within your own eyes and Your Heart Will tell you but moving forward is key with starting the process of forgiving her along with the male friend because you can chose to either speak to that guy friend of hers and ask he stop calling her immediately / via any texts or email communicating to your fianc because hes not respecting you as well your fianc needs to end this emotional affair with the other man her guy friend because You Will Not tolerate anymore contact with this situation ! Can she get passed his having a enotionsl affair. I found out it started with porn which grew into an addiction, then dating sites, to emails, to nude waist down sefies to meeting in hotels to CL prostitution. It wasnt as if we argued all the time .. later than usual. Ive gotten to the point I dont sleep with him most of the time because I dont want my son seeing that and I basically believe I am no longer in love. Im totally shocked that he cheated on me while begging me to come back to him. i wonder how people talk about rebuilding or reconnecting the relationship after infedelity. I recently found out that he had an affair and the woman now has a baby boy for him he tells me his not sure if this baby is his but when I asked him to do a DNA test his always making up excuses that he doesnt have the funds. What makes it more painful is the fact that i have been very sick since july or let me say since his affair started. After he went on another trip with her without informing me, I kicked him out of the house.
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